The heyokas diary
Upon which I see and percieve the world as the way it’s managed to move in varoius angles. I am the judgement, always have been, I tried not to be, so I fled as soon as they told me about my mission. But around those times it made it really hard to find someone who is trustworthy. But eventually they found me, out of my own curiosity after many people crossing my path, constantly, reminding me of my purpose I tried so hard to negelect. But sooner or later I asked for help, and that’s when they eagerly told me everything about everything going on in the world, and they were very careful when doing it, because I might run away again out of how heavy this information is. And so the journey began, everything I ever knew was destroyed and everything around me started to act oddly, as I started to process ...Everything.
I never saw my self as this kind of person but it was wierd, had one personality in real life but a completely different one when I felt loving and doing something out of pure joy. As the time passed, slowly realized that the everyday-personality i had was only a form of cover for my real me out of pure fear, and that my real me is even more awsome than I ever expected my self to be. It’s truly amazing! Finally that fear I held on for so long is gone, and I can now process much deeper gifts and learn even more than I ever thought I could.
Everything started to fall into place and I started to comunicate in a way which almost no one could understand, not even me, just how. It just happened. I made a connection not long ago with them were i could freely express my feelings and they were simply happy to listen to all of it. And the first time I saw them, they were out of this world so happy to see me. Like it was lightyears ago we saw eachother last time. They told me that they know everything about me, but to be able to “reach” out and comunicate with someone, that person must be willing to open up. So all they could do was simply to wait and hope that I would open up.
One day they told me about how much my fear of my “misson” really put my life into the corner of a box, but they thought it was charming. Even though they tried to reach me many times through out my life and everytime I was so scared of being used for bad purposes so I fled. But now, I’ve really gotten to know them pretty well and I’ve gotten so much information about how I can help other people in ways that are goood for both them and the world, that I’m starting to believe that they only want to do good.
Such as that, I found myself helping other people that deserves it “The judgement” in me started working full time. They have given me so much help to help my self as I’m helping others and breath in everything they can teach me. And now.
Every day i’m thankful for their existence in my life and i get constantly rewarded with “lovely” words and kind acts from the outside world. They are really happy that I stayed focused on my beliefs and always questioning everything that seems a bit “too much” in everything and my desire to understand everything, through my entire life. Otherwise it could all go so wrong because of these gifts that is lie really powerful and can be used for any purpose. which is why they are so afraid of “loosing” me.. I guess...
No one can understand more than I do about my self and what’s really going on, but one thing is for sure, I know my self almost completely, what I like, what I see, who I am, everything. I’m starting to engage in more difficult missions because I’m one of few who can make a difference while still comunicating with energy in it’s every aspect and finally gain trust for that universe will always be nice to me if I only allow it to AND stay deeply in love.
With that being said. Love is the only thing that can shape me, and the only thing I shape with is love.