Yumi

I'm quite unable to get by ultimately strong feelings at the moment. The urge to DO something and just anykind of something, but THAT something that I really want and need in my life, it's so strong that almost fall into deep depressive states in my mind that almost play with my patience., so almost everything feel altogether too much to handle in a way that does not look desperate or clumsy. Yet, here I am. Standing on the edge to something yet waiting for THAT something to appear while I'm working with the innermost part of my self, still trying to figure out everything.

 

And as far as I see it. Nothing is ever that special in reality, because everything is for the mind to decide the amount and what direction one focuses on such as that, everything will be easier or unnecessary for each individual. We can never change the world, only how we percieve it. We can never teach every person how to act and think because everyone is so different, and the only one who's able to see this difference is the one who really listen to everyone.

 

But hey! manipulation is a thing now, it's so popular that some people may never realize how much they interact with it. It's literally everywere. Not only out in the cities or the internet where there are a ot of comercials that only is created to give you an illusion that these things are good for you. Not only that, because me manipulate our selves as well every single day, to fit in, to find a job we don't even want, to accept feelings that we have created, to become something we have shaped as a "good, successful, sexy, rich, stable and perfectly admireble person", but where did the concept of being a good person come from in the beginning? Who told you be "like this or like that" actually?

The funny thing here is that humanity has created educational situations ans shows to show people how manipulate them selves, that says "Yes! You can be whatever you want to be", it sounds beautiful, but does it actually work? All of these selfhelp books do sell because people read them, but do they really in the long haul actually help? As for me, I do not belive so, remember that somehow before everyone else tried to shape you, you chose your self on your own right from the start, for a reason, never forget that reason! So if you choose to reshape yourself you are more or less kicking yourself for whatever reason that made you create yourself.

 

 

Whatever you manipulate your self to be, It's only manipulation, not magic. As soon as you stop manipulating yourself I believe things will go back to normal IF ofcourse you haven't worked your shit through from the core deeply rooted in your own sense of self.

The only way to make a change for real is to either work it through or to simply better your self. Because I do believe that you can always become better at everything you already have without a doubt.